The Department for Work and Pensions came under fire today after it was discovered thousands of fake personality tests had been performed by the “nudge unit”, an orwellian Westminster think-tank collaborating with Scientology. The personality tests, called “My Strength” reportedly are a sham... 

Westminster announced efficiency savings today of £650 million with a plan to replace international development with a euphemism for the military. “A new era of charity work” “It’s brilliant” William Hague, the Foreign Secretary, told Parliament today. “We can slash the charity... 

The Labour Leader, Ed Miliband, has denied reports that a wooden pallet he stood on has a better chance of becoming Prime Minister than he does. After a speech in Wimbley yesterday, a YouGov poll found him trailing behind the wooden platform in several key areas, mainly the economy and foreign policy. Ed Miliband... 

The Minister for Welfare and fifth horseman of the apocalypse, Iain Duncan-Smith, assured a worried nation that Conservative plans to plunge the United Kingdom into a nightmarish dimension were still on schedule. “My message is simple and stark, unite or die” Duncan-Smith defended his welfare bills in the... 

The Minister for Health is the first to go in a planned sell-off of the Cabinet, and will now be operated by a variety of private companies. “I am no longer relevant and should be dismantled” Virgin secured the winning bid for Jeremy Hunt’s head, tendering a cheaper offer than any competitors. It’s... 

According to a poll by HUNKI DORI, 60% of the general public believe the Royal Mail’s letter and parcel services were “much better” during a complete shut-down. 80% of respondents surveyed said that they found fewer letters stuffed in their hedges, or ripped and torn, or delivered to Mrs. Hastings... 

The US Secretary for State, John Kerry, has released a strongly worded statement to the rogue state of North Korea. It comes at a time of high military tension, with North Korea pursuing military movements along their borders. John Kerry said at a press conference: “Just what the f**k do you guys think you’re... 

Home Secretary Theresa May has ordered herself to be removed from the country after filling in an immigration form incorrectly. It is understood that she misunderstood the “name” section and instead of the deportee’s, wrote her own name in, beginning an irreversible extradition process. Under UK law,... 

The Labour leader, David Miliband, has resigned from politics today in a shock announcement that has left his party in disarray. He announced he will be leaving Westminster for a post in New York focusing on international development. The Labour party are said to be stunned at his departure and have called for a snap... 

In a car-crash interview live on the BBC, London Mayor Boris Johnson has admitted under pressure to being a member of the Conservative Party. The revelation comes as a shock to many of his own supporters, who were under the impression he was a bit of a buffoon, but fundamentally nice. Boris stated during the interview...